That is what my scale said last week. OK maybe not Ogre Load but it did say OL. The sick part is what OL really means. Loosely translated it means I have hit 309 lbs. It could have just as easily said fat ass, lard ass, muffin man, stay puff, Shrek, fat puc, too fat for a fox shock, too fat for a carbon fork, XXXXL or it could have just told me to get off.
So what am I going to do about it? Going to Pats to eat burnt ends until I pass out? Going to La Frontera to eat three smothered's rice beans cheese and onions? Sitting down to eat a gallon of ice cream and polishing it off with a 22 oz bottle of chocolate stout? Maybe 2 chili verde burritos from Lone Star? The sick part is all of these sound really good. But no I am going to diet and do it in a way that works for me.
I have decided to go on a 1500 calorie per day diet. I probably need a nutritionist but I am going to go it alone for now. I figure at my current weight I probably need about 3500 calories per day just to maintain Ogre status. So if I can get in some mileage on my bike and also keep my calories at 1500 or so I should be able to lose five pounds per week.
I want to lose the weight and get into some form of cycling shape. At one time I was one of those guys that everyone was telling to eat. My grandmother in broken English would stick food in front of me and say " Some more eat". While I was going to the U of A I weighed in at 155 pounds and I often rode my bike 300 miles per week. 155 may sound heavy to some of you but I am 6' 3" and at this height anything under 180 looks pretty thin.
So I am sure someone will want to know how much weight I want to lose. For now I want to get down to 220 lbs. I have not seen 22o in 10 years. About 8 years ago and about 235 lbs I decided that riding motocross was fun and I should take it up. So I did what I always do. I went big. I bought a YZF 426 some gear and went riding. I lasted about 6 months before I wiped out an broke the head of my left hip. This was painful and resulted in 3 screws and 6 weeks of rest and a cane. Being somewhat stubborn and also loving anything with two wheels. I got back on the bike about 7 weeks later. I will post a picture of the xray if I can find one. Anyhow I crashed again and this time did the exact same thing to my right hip. All things considered the Left hip is good. The right hip is not so good. The head of the femur died. This was excruciating. At 38 I had to have my right hip replaced. This is where my weight really starts to slide. I could always do just about anything but now I have less mobility and for a while I felt sorry for myself.
Anyhow I am sure you get the picture. I did/do less and I gained a shit load of weight.
I started 4 days ago and right now I weigh 304 lbs. The weather sucks right now and I have not ridden outside in a couple of days so for now I am on the trainer in the basement.
SLC premiere of “Numinous” at Fisher Beer -
4 weeks ago